Lies we Tell Others About Our Chronic Pain

Anyone dealing with chronic pain knows all to well the look we get when we tell people how we really feel. They pretend like they care, but you can tell from the glare, that they are thinking here she goes again. What a whiner. It's even better when they tell you how they feel. "Oh, I have felt like that before.You have to do more and you'll feel better." Depending on how rude they feel like being, they may even say, you are faking or lazy. So we come up with lies we tell others so we can avoid looking like a whiner.

Lie 1. How are you feeling today? Oh, I feel great. Or, the biggest lie, I am fine. Anyone dealing with chronic pain is never fine. They always have some sort of ache or throbbing pain. It might not be as bad as it could be, but it is still there.

Lie 2. Oh, sure I would like to meet you for shopping, party, dinner, etc. When really all we want to do is crawl back into bed and hide under the covers. Now don't get me wrong, we would like to do these things. It just hurts to bad to do them, and we know how we will pay later.

Lie 3. I can do that. This could be anything from errands for someone else to babysitting their children. In all reality, we can't do that. We can barely do our own errands and keep our own children fed and dressed, but to avoid looking like a whiner we except. It doesn't matter that we will hurt for days after, we don't want to see that disappointing glare from others.

Lie 4. I don't need help. If someone asks if we need help doing a task like housework, we say no. This is due to the guilt we feel from not being able to do these tasks ourselves. When it is too hard to run the vacuum, it leaves us feeling terrible. We will do more than we should so we don't feel guilty. We don't want to think that others are saying, or thinking, we are lazy. We over due it and then suffer the next few days or even weeks depending on the task.

Life would be so much easier if people could just understand what we are going through. If we could switch places for a day, they would never question when we say we are hurting. We would never get another glare questioning if we are faking. We would never be accused of being a whiner. We wouldn't have to tell others or ourselves these lies.