Each day I have a variety of health problems to deal with. I have the coughing and gagging from the "Silent Re-flux" . Why they call it silent is beyond me. I know it's there every moment of the day. Then there is the carpal tunnel that interrupts my writing, typing, cooking, DIY projects, sleeping, etc. You get the picture, it's always around showing its ugly head. Next comes my anxiety. Of all the issues I deal with this one is the worst.
Why, you may wonder would anxiety be worse then coughing and gagging all day. Well, let me tell you. Anxiety creeps in my brain and makes me question every symptom of my health problems. I start to become terrified that the damage to my throat and esophagus will turn cancerous. I must have pulled something in my chest because the last few days I have been having intermittent pains. That's normal you might say. Sure, it is normal, but my anxiety gets me scared out of my mind wondering if it could be a heart attack.
It's not just my health symptoms that I worry about. I worry about everyone else from family to friends. I know what health problems are in my family and I spend too much time worrying that I will have the same problems one day. Anxiety makes everything seem so much more severe, and yet I am afraid of doing anything to stop the problem. My DR. has said numerous times she can put me on medicine to help. I am afraid of what the medicine will do and how it will make me feel. So I keep telling her no.
I wish I had a switch to flip my brain off a few hours a day. I would love to have some time when I didn't have to worry so much. So to all of you that deal with anxiety, how do you keep from going crazy worrying?
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About Me
- Heather
- I have spent most of my adult life( and now that I think about it) my entire life dealing with anxiety. Anxiety controls my entire life. I am never sure from one day to the next if I will be able to leave the house or answer the phone. Now add in Fibromyalgia and I spend most days in constant pain. Sleep is something that I always crave but never am satisfied. I toss and turn all night trying to get comfortable. Restless Leg Syndrome adds to the joy of trying to get a good night's sleep. My hair is falling out hand-fulls at a time. Stress is a major cause of flair ups. I have a daughter with special needs that include Autism, ADHD, Mood d/o-nos, and Obsessive Compulsive tendencies. I am also the caretaker of my 95 yr old grandmother with mental health issues of her own. Stress is a major part of my life. I was diagnosed with PCOS 13 yrs ago. After having a hysterectomy I had hoped for improvement. Of course that did not happen. You all know what they say about if it wasn't for bad luck I would have no luck at all, right? I have found writing to be therapeutic, and hope to help others by letting them know, they are not alone.
