Need some therapy: Visit the beach

      I have only been to the beach two times in my life, but I have to tell you they were the most relaxing times I have ever had. There is something about sitting at the beach staring at the ocean that is therapeutic. The everyday pains I have seemed to just disappear while sitting in the sand.

    Staring at the water that goes on and on allowed me to clear my head. My brain was only focused on one thing. The constant chaos that goes on in my head was silent. I was able to think clear thoughts. I didn't have fifty things rushing through my mind at one time.

 While looking at the ocean's waves I didn't focus on how bad my legs were hurting. I just felt at peace. I hope within the next few years to move close to the beach so I can visit weekly if not daily. If you find yourself having a bad day or a painful day stop and try to picture the ocean. Try to remember what the waves sound like as they crash upon the shore. Feel the water running over your feet and the warmth of the sand.

                   I know it will not be the same as actually being there, but you would be surprised at how it can help the body relax. Often at night I will go back to the beach in my mind as a way of trying to shut down for the night. I soon find my self drifting off even if just for a few minutes.

Brr, it's freezing outside

Usually I enjoy the cold to some extent. I like seeing a fresh blanket of snow on the ground. I enjoy the yard not being a swamp when I am taking the dog out for a walk. However, this year the cold is driving me nuts. My internal thermostat is already bonkers and the cold weather is making it go haywire. My bones are so stiff and hurting so much  that I can't hardly stand going outside. I don't know how I am going to make it through the winter.

Maybe I need to move somewhere that's warm all year long. If it were only that easy. I have a ninety five year old grandmother to care for. Moving is out of the question. If only I could go outside in a bubble that remained a constant temperature. My body takes so long to get warm after I am cold. I am only outside for ten minutes at a time max, just long enough to walk the dog.

How do you handle the cold weather when dealing with chronic pain? My hands are still aching and it's been an hour since I was last outside.  Ugh! I need to live on a beach.

I feel something lurking behind me

As we inch closer and closer to the holidays I can sense something lurking behind me. While I should be enjoying the lights and festivities that go along with the holidays I fine myself looking over my shoulder. In the evenings while I am trying to enjoy the holiday shows on TV I feel that dark shadow creeping about. Each day it's presence becomes more clear. I can try to run and hide but somehow it always seems to know where I am. Yes, holiday depression is approaching.

Holidays should be a time of happiness. I love the lights and music. I enjoy seeing family and the look on my daughter's face on Christmas morning. However I can't shake this nasty beast that finds me year after year. Instead of baking all the yummy goodies and enjoying the holiday cheer I find myself not wanting to do anything. I go out once a week to do grocery shopping and errands and then it's back to my cave. My desire to get up and go has went without me.

This year I didn't even have the desire to put up the outside lights and I love competing with the neighbor over who has more lights. Not this year. I did get the tree and a few things up inside, but even that was exhausting. I guess I am hurting more this year and that is taking it's toll on my festive spirit. Dealing with constant pain everyday has affected me more than I thought it would.

I know I am not alone in this battle. There are lots of us dealing with a shadow following closely behind. Maybe we can join forces and rid this terrible monster once and for all. How do you keep your spirit during the holidays when dealing with depression and pain?

Could Prevacid be causing my hair loss?

My hair has been falling out in clumps each day. I wash my hair and it looks like I used Nair there is so much hair in the drain. I have been racking my mind trying to figure out what the problem is. Today I had an Aha moment. My hair started falling out when I switched from Nexium to Prevacid (Lansoprazole). I started doing some searching, and sure enough there are lots of people with the same complaint. They too, had lost hair after taking Prevacid. Now I have to continue the research and see what Gerd medication I can use and not have the hair loss.

Have any of my readers had any experience with hair loss from Prevacid (Lansoprazole)? What medication did you switch to? I have heard lots of horror stories from being on Nexium long term, so I am trying to find something else.

Another day another headache

I love the fall weather. It is one of my favorite times in the year. I love the colors of the changing leaves. I love the cool, crisp weather. My favorite genre of movies are on for a whole month. I can finally have hot chocolate whenever I want. It sounds like a perfect time, but this year it is a time of constant headaches and pain.

Every morning I wake up with a headache that continues to linger through out the day. I am having a hard time with pain in my legs. My right side is always on fire. I cannot seem to get comfortable. When I sit it hurts in my hip. When I lay down my knee and calves ache. When I am standing my back is throbbing. I am constantly having the chills. At night when it gets cooler, I am burning up. I cannot find a happy medium.

I want to be able to enjoy this time of the year. The holidays are quickly approaching and I am afraid that I will be hurting too much to enjoy them. I love to cook and bake. I absolutely love decorating for the holidays. I just have to find a way to deal with this pain. January can't come quick enough. I will finally be able to go to the doctor and get some help. Not having health insurance puts a damper on getting proper treatment. I know that many are against the Affordable Care Act or "Obamacare" as many like to refer, but I am so thankful. I can get insurance that I can afford. I won't be turned down for preexisting conditions.

I am hoping the weather cooperates and we can get out and enjoy the colors this upcoming weekend.  Before long the leaves will be gone and snow will take their place. I am just thankful I am able to witness another cycle of seasons come to an end.

You're hot then you're cold

Dear Mother Nature,

               I know that there are many factors that go into weather, cold fronts, warm fronts, global warming, etc. I just wish you could find a happy medium and stick with it. This constant change in temperature every other day has my body throwing fits. I love the cool fall air. I like being able to snuggle under the covers at night. I do not however enjoy the hot and humid weather that keeps creeping in every few days.  My internal thermometer is not adjusting well. I can't seem to get warm on these chilly days. I feel like I am burning up on the hot days. I am almost afraid to see what happens when it turns cold. So please, have a couple glasses of wine and chill out. It is time for chilly weather, hot chocolate, and bon-fires.
Yours truly,

 Me




P.S. My air conditioner is already put away for the season, so please stop trying to roast me.

Oh my, is that a heart attack I feel coming on, or just my crazy brain on overdrive?

          Each day I have a variety of health problems to deal with. I have the coughing and gagging from the "Silent Re-flux" . Why they call it silent is beyond me. I know it's there every moment of the day. Then there is the carpal tunnel that interrupts my writing, typing, cooking, DIY projects, sleeping, etc. You get the picture, it's always around showing its ugly head. Next comes my anxiety. Of all the issues I deal with this one is the worst.
        Why, you may wonder would anxiety be worse then coughing and gagging all day. Well, let me tell you. Anxiety creeps in my brain and makes me question every symptom of my health problems. I start to become terrified that the damage to my throat and esophagus will turn cancerous. I must have pulled something in my chest because the  last few days I have been having intermittent pains. That's normal you might say. Sure, it is normal, but my anxiety gets me scared out of my mind wondering if it could be a heart attack.
         It's not just my health symptoms that I worry about. I worry about everyone else from family to friends. I know what health problems are in my family and I spend too much time worrying that I will have the same problems one day. Anxiety makes everything seem so much more severe, and yet I am afraid of doing anything to stop the problem. My DR. has said numerous times she can put me on medicine to help. I am afraid of what the medicine will do and how it will make me feel. So I keep telling her no.
I wish I had a switch to flip my brain off a few hours a day. I would love to have some time when I didn't have to worry so much. So to all of you that deal with anxiety, how do you keep from going crazy worrying?