Lies we Tell Others About Our Chronic Pain

Anyone dealing with chronic pain knows all to well the look we get when we tell people how we really feel. They pretend like they care, but you can tell from the glare, that they are thinking here she goes again. What a whiner. It's even better when they tell you how they feel. "Oh, I have felt like that before.You have to do more and you'll feel better." Depending on how rude they feel like being, they may even say, you are faking or lazy. So we come up with lies we tell others so we can avoid looking like a whiner.

Lie 1. How are you feeling today? Oh, I feel great. Or, the biggest lie, I am fine. Anyone dealing with chronic pain is never fine. They always have some sort of ache or throbbing pain. It might not be as bad as it could be, but it is still there.

Lie 2. Oh, sure I would like to meet you for shopping, party, dinner, etc. When really all we want to do is crawl back into bed and hide under the covers. Now don't get me wrong, we would like to do these things. It just hurts to bad to do them, and we know how we will pay later.

Lie 3. I can do that. This could be anything from errands for someone else to babysitting their children. In all reality, we can't do that. We can barely do our own errands and keep our own children fed and dressed, but to avoid looking like a whiner we except. It doesn't matter that we will hurt for days after, we don't want to see that disappointing glare from others.

Lie 4. I don't need help. If someone asks if we need help doing a task like housework, we say no. This is due to the guilt we feel from not being able to do these tasks ourselves. When it is too hard to run the vacuum, it leaves us feeling terrible. We will do more than we should so we don't feel guilty. We don't want to think that others are saying, or thinking, we are lazy. We over due it and then suffer the next few days or even weeks depending on the task.

Life would be so much easier if people could just understand what we are going through. If we could switch places for a day, they would never question when we say we are hurting. We would never get another glare questioning if we are faking. We would never be accused of being a whiner. We wouldn't have to tell others or ourselves these lies.

Need some therapy: Visit the beach

      I have only been to the beach two times in my life, but I have to tell you they were the most relaxing times I have ever had. There is something about sitting at the beach staring at the ocean that is therapeutic. The everyday pains I have seemed to just disappear while sitting in the sand.

    Staring at the water that goes on and on allowed me to clear my head. My brain was only focused on one thing. The constant chaos that goes on in my head was silent. I was able to think clear thoughts. I didn't have fifty things rushing through my mind at one time.

 While looking at the ocean's waves I didn't focus on how bad my legs were hurting. I just felt at peace. I hope within the next few years to move close to the beach so I can visit weekly if not daily. If you find yourself having a bad day or a painful day stop and try to picture the ocean. Try to remember what the waves sound like as they crash upon the shore. Feel the water running over your feet and the warmth of the sand.

                   I know it will not be the same as actually being there, but you would be surprised at how it can help the body relax. Often at night I will go back to the beach in my mind as a way of trying to shut down for the night. I soon find my self drifting off even if just for a few minutes.

Brr, it's freezing outside

Usually I enjoy the cold to some extent. I like seeing a fresh blanket of snow on the ground. I enjoy the yard not being a swamp when I am taking the dog out for a walk. However, this year the cold is driving me nuts. My internal thermostat is already bonkers and the cold weather is making it go haywire. My bones are so stiff and hurting so much  that I can't hardly stand going outside. I don't know how I am going to make it through the winter.

Maybe I need to move somewhere that's warm all year long. If it were only that easy. I have a ninety five year old grandmother to care for. Moving is out of the question. If only I could go outside in a bubble that remained a constant temperature. My body takes so long to get warm after I am cold. I am only outside for ten minutes at a time max, just long enough to walk the dog.

How do you handle the cold weather when dealing with chronic pain? My hands are still aching and it's been an hour since I was last outside.  Ugh! I need to live on a beach.

I feel something lurking behind me

As we inch closer and closer to the holidays I can sense something lurking behind me. While I should be enjoying the lights and festivities that go along with the holidays I fine myself looking over my shoulder. In the evenings while I am trying to enjoy the holiday shows on TV I feel that dark shadow creeping about. Each day it's presence becomes more clear. I can try to run and hide but somehow it always seems to know where I am. Yes, holiday depression is approaching.

Holidays should be a time of happiness. I love the lights and music. I enjoy seeing family and the look on my daughter's face on Christmas morning. However I can't shake this nasty beast that finds me year after year. Instead of baking all the yummy goodies and enjoying the holiday cheer I find myself not wanting to do anything. I go out once a week to do grocery shopping and errands and then it's back to my cave. My desire to get up and go has went without me.

This year I didn't even have the desire to put up the outside lights and I love competing with the neighbor over who has more lights. Not this year. I did get the tree and a few things up inside, but even that was exhausting. I guess I am hurting more this year and that is taking it's toll on my festive spirit. Dealing with constant pain everyday has affected me more than I thought it would.

I know I am not alone in this battle. There are lots of us dealing with a shadow following closely behind. Maybe we can join forces and rid this terrible monster once and for all. How do you keep your spirit during the holidays when dealing with depression and pain?

Could Prevacid be causing my hair loss?

My hair has been falling out in clumps each day. I wash my hair and it looks like I used Nair there is so much hair in the drain. I have been racking my mind trying to figure out what the problem is. Today I had an Aha moment. My hair started falling out when I switched from Nexium to Prevacid (Lansoprazole). I started doing some searching, and sure enough there are lots of people with the same complaint. They too, had lost hair after taking Prevacid. Now I have to continue the research and see what Gerd medication I can use and not have the hair loss.

Have any of my readers had any experience with hair loss from Prevacid (Lansoprazole)? What medication did you switch to? I have heard lots of horror stories from being on Nexium long term, so I am trying to find something else.

Another day another headache

I love the fall weather. It is one of my favorite times in the year. I love the colors of the changing leaves. I love the cool, crisp weather. My favorite genre of movies are on for a whole month. I can finally have hot chocolate whenever I want. It sounds like a perfect time, but this year it is a time of constant headaches and pain.

Every morning I wake up with a headache that continues to linger through out the day. I am having a hard time with pain in my legs. My right side is always on fire. I cannot seem to get comfortable. When I sit it hurts in my hip. When I lay down my knee and calves ache. When I am standing my back is throbbing. I am constantly having the chills. At night when it gets cooler, I am burning up. I cannot find a happy medium.

I want to be able to enjoy this time of the year. The holidays are quickly approaching and I am afraid that I will be hurting too much to enjoy them. I love to cook and bake. I absolutely love decorating for the holidays. I just have to find a way to deal with this pain. January can't come quick enough. I will finally be able to go to the doctor and get some help. Not having health insurance puts a damper on getting proper treatment. I know that many are against the Affordable Care Act or "Obamacare" as many like to refer, but I am so thankful. I can get insurance that I can afford. I won't be turned down for preexisting conditions.

I am hoping the weather cooperates and we can get out and enjoy the colors this upcoming weekend.  Before long the leaves will be gone and snow will take their place. I am just thankful I am able to witness another cycle of seasons come to an end.

You're hot then you're cold

Dear Mother Nature,

               I know that there are many factors that go into weather, cold fronts, warm fronts, global warming, etc. I just wish you could find a happy medium and stick with it. This constant change in temperature every other day has my body throwing fits. I love the cool fall air. I like being able to snuggle under the covers at night. I do not however enjoy the hot and humid weather that keeps creeping in every few days.  My internal thermometer is not adjusting well. I can't seem to get warm on these chilly days. I feel like I am burning up on the hot days. I am almost afraid to see what happens when it turns cold. So please, have a couple glasses of wine and chill out. It is time for chilly weather, hot chocolate, and bon-fires.
Yours truly,

 Me




P.S. My air conditioner is already put away for the season, so please stop trying to roast me.